Fera ceased existing long before she died (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} fera_festiva) wrote,@ 2008-06-13 13:34:00 |
|
| Current mood: |  accomplished |
| Entry tags: | deathly hallows uberwank |
The Uberwank Awards: Winnarz
Sorry for the delay; real life, as always.
No acceptance speeches because, sadly, none of the nominees could be here. Unless, that is, they are lurking in the comments... (insert winning grin here).
WINNAR:
Remus/hipflask
Congratulations! We wish you both the best of luck for your future together (and if the gossip columns are anything to go by, perhaps we'll be hearing wedding bells some time soon!)
Quentin Tarantino Award for Most Judicious Cuss or Generally Rude Word
WINNAR:
Molly Weasley for "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"
Congratulations, Molly! Some more swear words you may enjoy are "fuck", "fuckface", "fuckmonger", "skullfuck", and - my personal favourite - "fuckstain".
Icy Lamppost Award for *Facepalm*-Inducing Stupidity
WINNAR:
Harry for not knowing Godric's Hollow had anything to do with Godric Gryffindor
Wow, A for effort, Harry! Good try!
World's Tiniest Violin Award for Most Egregious Wangst
WINNAR:
Remus Lupin for "Oh no, I had stupid drunken sex and now I can't deal with the consequences, because apparently I am like 15 years old or some shit"
Congratulations, Remus, on your second award of the night! As well as the trophy, you win this packet of condoms. Next time, use them. (Incidentally, Ginny Weasley and her wangst narrowly lost out on this award. She would also have won the packet of condoms.)
... Anyway.
Darth Maul Award for Worst Nickname or Handle
WINNAR:
"Tuney", from "Petunia"
Congratulations, "Tuney"! I can't think of any real-world reason someone would be nicknamed that! Yay!
Lee Scoresby Award for Badassery
WINNAR:
Neville Longbottom
Neville, we salute you. We're not worthy.
Slaughterhouse Five Award for Wartime Death That, You Know, I Really Ought to Give a Shit, But...
WINNAR:
Nymphadora Tonks, auror, dies offscreen
Oh well. Sucks to be you, I guess. Or congratulations, whatever.
Jar-Jar Binks Award for Least Believable Survival
WINNAR:
Harry's mental health
Another award that, I guess, goes to Harry! Congratulations! We're all counting down the days until you finally flip and kill a bunch of people, or at least punch someone for no reason, and then sit there crying waiting for the police to arrive!
Tom Cruise Award for Homoeroticism
WINNAR:
Dumbledore's whole... thing with Grindelwald
Congratulations to the both of you on your relationship finally gaining recognition, only a century after you broke up! In seriousness, I'm planning to wear a "Dumbledore's Army" shirt to this year's Brighton Pride.
Um.
Finbarr Saunders Award for Eyebrow-Raising Innuendo
WINNAR:
"[Krum] drew his wand from the inside of his robes and tapped it menacingly on his thigh; sparks flew out of the end"
Congratulations, double entendre that could just about be about penises! If the owner of the penis had some kind of weird disease! Or was a robot, I guess!
... Heh. "Wand".
Sorry, Jo, But The Fandom Got There First Award for the Fandom Having Got There First
WINNAR:
Snape loved Lily
A close contest, but given that this one dates back to at least 2001, I think it's a worthy winner. Congratulations, fan theory that I for one never thought would actually happen!
Anakin Skywalker Award for Blatant and Unsettling Daddy Issues
WINNAR:
Harry Potter's existence
Oh, Harry, you poor fucker. If you ever need to talk, I'm happy to listen, or recommend an excellent therapist.
And there it is. HBP Uberwank - or possibly something else along the same lines, depending on various factors I'm not going to talk about yet - coming in late summer. In the meantime I may post porn; consider yourself warned.
